Doctor On The Ball by Richard Gordon

Author:Richard Gordon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Doctor On The Ball
ISBN: 9780755131075
Publisher: House of Stratus
Published: 2012-12-27T05:00:00+00:00

14

‘Do you know who’s captain of Beagle Hill?’ Windrush demanded. ‘Mr Horace Fenny-Cooper! QC! The bastard!’

The name stirred the uneasiness of Big Brother’s. ‘The barrister who makes a killing bullying doctors in malpractice suits?’

Windrush nodded fiercely. ‘Who specializes in extorting grossly inflated damages for minor errors. Why, the patients don’t know how lucky they are! Lose the wrong finger or toe, take a world cruise and retire for life. Tax free, too, just like winning the pools. Hand in glove with the judges, of course. They all have a neurotic distrust of doctors.’

‘Because they seldom send us to gaol, but we can always tell them to take their clothes off.’

‘They make so many mistakes, they keep a special court sitting to correct them. Supposing they’d taken up medicine? My God! We’d have a housing problem with post-mortem rooms.’

I do not think I really like lawyers. Perhaps because they are trained to be nasty to people and we are trained to be nice to people. And doctors are spared from growing pompous. We have to look up too many fundamental orifices.

‘Now’s our chance to get our own back,’ said Windrush warmly.

‘That’s up to your team.’

‘It’s up to you.’

‘But I’m the umpire!’

‘Exactly.’

I objected indignantly, ‘That’s not in the spirit of the game.’

‘Look, we’ve no more hope of beating Beagle Hill than Dr Barnardo’s of winning the Cup Final,’ he imparted frankly. ‘Our team’s half doctors, and I hear he’s bringing a flock of lawyers, so this is a professional needle-match. Do you want the legal leech bragging round the Law Courts on Monday morning how he’s pulverized us? Furthermore–’ He eyed me sternly. ‘Bill Ightam has a case pending. Stomach that went wrong.’

I said unhappily, ‘I see a conflict of loyalties.’

‘I don’t.’ Windrush returned to the nets.

I was left in the moral turmoil of E M (Passage to India) Forster, who speculated on having to choose between betraying his country or betraying his friend. I recalled that he hoped he would have the guts to betray his country, but perhaps he was just being clever. I decided on blunting the horns of the dilemma with a pint of Huntsman’s Double Hop, but Bill Ightam’s Rover appeared.

He proudly introduced Thomasina. She was quiet, slight, pink, eighteen, with an Adidas bag and two cricket bats, wearing jeans and a Sussex University sweatshirt. She was finishing her first year (artistic studies).

‘I was desperately hoping to see her bat,’ Bill said dotingly. ‘But you know how it is – half a dozen private cases this afternoon, and Jilly’s just phoned about a nasty abdomen.’ He sighed. ‘How I envy you! I’d still be umpiring, but I kept getting bleeped at the wicket.’

I became aware of a slight noise beside me. It was Windrush grinding his teeth. A latest-model Rolls-Royce was approaching down the track from the main road.

‘That’s him,’ Windrush muttered pugnaciously, as Bill Ightam drove off. ‘Look at that new Roller! Bought at we poor doctors’ expense.’

Mr Horace Fenny-Cooper QC was six feet tall with shoulders like kerbstones, long thick black hair and a massive blue chin.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.